HOLY WATER

Void Signal welcomes Jake Desrochers of darkwave industrial project HOLY WATER to discuss his powerful new album Contrast. Known for raw, high-energy performances that emphasize authenticity and emotional connection, Jake shares insights into his creative process, the meaning behind standout tracks like “Tasted Tears, Wasted Time,” and the role of community, resilience, and second chances in both his music and life. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of art, vulnerability, and the bonds that make music transformative.


Featured Songs:
HOLY WATER - EYE.LL.FND. U

https://holywater-music.bandcamp.com/ for more HOLY WATER.


Void Signal intro courtesy of Processor. Visit https://processor2.bandcamp.com for more Processor.
Void Signal intro remix by Mortal Realm. Visit https://mortalrealm.bandcamp.com/ for more Mortal Realm.

Transcript

Well hello again, it is once again Void Signal, I'm Brian Prime and this week's episode is a discussion with Jake Desrochers, but is better known for his darkwave industrial project HOLY WATER. His latest album, Contrast, is one of the most solid album releases of the year and should delight fans of Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode, but it was a struggle to choose just one song as an intro for this episode, as the songs are diverse and dip into a variety of sounds and genres.
 My first experience with HOLY WATER was opening for Bootblacks, it was a splendid performance and I made a note to follow, but it wasn't until seeing the latest iteration of Jake's on stage performance in July of 2025 that I gained a new appreciation for the authenticity that exudes from him, and comes across in his work. His stage show is a raw, energy filled experience that leaves the crowd envigorated, bonded, and rejuvenated. An experience was shared, and everyone is enriched. Jake is also just a super chill person, his kids were running his merch table when I caught him open for Matte Blvck in Sacramento, and at the most recent show. I got to meet his lovely and proud mom, Rosa. Enjoy this chat with Jake, and find more HOLY WATER anywhere music exists.
Void Signal intro remix for this episode courtesy of MORTAL REALM, check out Adam's latest single ROT (And Decompose) on the streaming platform of your choice.
Oh, one last thing, Void Signal is still ad-free and powered by people. So if you've enjoyed an episode, please consider visiting VoidSignal.net or Patreon.com/VoidSignal and send me some dollars if you had a good time. It goes a long way towards keeping Void Signal going. I appreciate your consideration, as always. It's a pleasure to be your host. 
Okay, our time is at an end again, enjoy the chat with Jake, and I will make another Signal just for you very soon. Fight the good fight, but stay safe, stay loud, and take care out there. 

Holy Water
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Brian Prime: Okay, cool. Uh, I'll go ahead and start. I just want to go ahead and kind of give, uh, my own little intro for you, uh, and then I'll hit you with the first question and everything.

But so just kind of quick background. I caught you performing, opening for boot Blacks in San Francisco, uh, some years ago, and I recall mm-hmm. The being like, okay, this is a band I need to follow and keep an eye on. And had the [00:02:00] opportunity to see you again this year in Las Vegas. Playing with dark cheese may and just blew my fucking mind.

Uh, we were just incredible and I was like, okay. I, there was a reason that I was paying attention and, your new album has just come out. I've managed to catch you three times now, uh, twice this year. And, uh, you deliver a fantastic performance every time. And you always have heartfelt and thoughtful things to say to the crowd.

And you put forth a lot of effort to try and engage people no matter where they're at. So this is a, a huge privilege and honor to me to have you on. So yeah, thank you so much for making this work. 

Jake: Of course. No, thank you for the wonderful compliments that that's yeah that's great.

It's compliments are hard, you know? Yeah. 'cause you wanna be like, yeah, that's right. Because I, I do work hard to, to try to convey that message, but it's also kind of like. [00:03:00] Part of my, uh, DNA as an artist to help let people in and, um, and help get some connection there. So the fact that you recognized that and it it hit home with you, I think that that's just the most wonderful compliment I can receive.

So, thank you. 

Brian Prime: Yeah, my pleasure. And it was you know, after catching your performance in Vegas, my manager was like, ah, you should change his name to Holy shit. Because he just, uh, came out and just put on an incredible performance, uh, in a night with other incredible performances. 'cause dark cheese May is the jam.

Yeah, they're great. Yeah. Fantastic. Uh, well, I want to go ahead and kind of get this started, but, uh, how are things going for you? Like the album just came out about a week or so ago now. It's, mm-hmm. Fantastic. I just I love it. I've been listening to it a lot tasted tears, wasted time, uh, has become a favorite amongst, uh, so many others.

But, uh, [00:04:00] how have things been so far since it has come out? 

Jake: I mean, it's been great. There's so much that leads up to releasing an album. This one is really, uh, near and dear to my heart because I did everything myself. Every note basically. I did go and have it like polished up a little bit with my friend Sean from crosses.

He's got a great studio down in LA and so we helped you know, just like mix it, master it a little bit, but we didn't do any recording that was just to kind of make it pop. And so it was really great going into it. And over the last six months or so when I've been writing, and some of them even go further back than that I've gotten a little bit better at it.

And, um, you know, hunting and, and pecking my way through things and, and revisiting and, and I try not to get too clogged up in the creative process. Like, I like a song to kind of come together pretty quickly and pretty naturally, at least the chord changes and the nucleus and what it's about. And I'll get the beat going.

And then I go for a run, like most [00:05:00] mornings I get up at like 5, 3, 6 am I like it when it's quiet, like early morning and, and the second half of my run I'll walk. And so I just kind of like step to the beat and like go over lyrics and kind of think about things and I'll always be out somewhere and like open space, there's some like farmland kind of near where I live, where I'll go out there and, and it just helps me open up my mind and, and get in touch with what I'm trying to say. And, um, having a meeting. But it's been going really good. It's just a lot of different, many, many pieces that kind of gets funneled down into this work. And I wanted to do an album. I wanted it do a full album.

I wanted it to have kind of a meaning in all the songs to be like, start to finish like a song song, like something that you can, like latch onto, like with some hooks. And and expose a little bit of the songwriting element to it. I do love a lot of sound design and, and making things sound weird, but I also wanted to be accessible for the listener so they could lock in with what I was trying to lay down.

And so far the response [00:06:00] has been great. It's funny, a lot of people liked that the tasted tears wasted years, uh, wasted time song because, uh. I don't know, but I've, I've gotten a lot of good feedback from that one as well. I think I dropped that as a single before it came out, and so maybe people have just had a little bit longer to listen to it or whatever, but it was one of those ones that came together pretty quickly.

Brian Prime: Yeah, I just to kind of speak to that really quickly as somebody who was affected by it and touched by what it had to say, I think, at least for me, and I'm gonna make assumptions about your audience, maybe. Uh, I feel like we are living in, and you embody this sentiment in some of what you say during your live show as well.

But we're living in a time of maybe second chances of like you, it is not too late to reinvent yourself or rediscover yourself or get back in touch with sort of who you [00:07:00] are. And sometimes that can be with the benefit or shared with another person and at least for me, it definitely sort of spoke to that sort of a sentiment and ideal.

But yeah, I think it's wonderfully crafted and I'm a big lyrics guy, so I'm like easily sucked in by like something that sounds good or something that says words in such a way that they're thought provoking to me. 

Jake: Thank you man. I appreciate that. I wanted to write a love song. I hate writing love songs because I went through so many like failed relationships.

I like didn't wanna sing about it again or, or have it live in a world, but I'm pretty sure I'm with a woman that's gonna stick and I love her and I wanted to write a love song that's kind like my relationship with my kids or like with music, this undying thing. And um, and the title led me to it.

And it's [00:08:00] funny 'cause it kind of comes from this story. I played this acoustic show with Steve Soto from the, um, I used, I come from like punk rock and, and hardcore music. And so, I don't know, 15 years ago I was doing a lot of acoustic shows. 'Cause my band was like living in different places. It was just hard to tour and I just loved to play gigs.

Anyway, I was just picking up these kind of singer songwriter gigs and I played with Steve Soto from the adolescence. Um, and um. I was singing my set list, one said was called Promises and it was about, you know, getting married and I promise you, and I'll be around forever. And then the next song was called, um.

I don't know, fuck you. Or I don't remember what it was called, but it was like a leaving song, you know? It was like, I'm outta here, I'll be fine, kind of thing. And so they, I played 'em back to back. I didn't write the set list that way, but when I was looking down I was like, oh great. Like, and I was just current this divorce, it was like just over when I played this show.

So I was like talking about 'em all, here's a song that didn't [00:09:00] work out, you know? And then right after that I started laughing. I'm all, well, here's the song I wrote, getting out of it, you know? And so I was just kind of having fun with it. Anyway, Steve Soto went on and he was like, I dedicate this song to Jake, you know, and it's called, I Want My Five Years Back.

And I just started laughing and I just thought that was great. A lot of the things we regret are the expectations, the time we put in. And that's the hardest thing to get over. You know, you don't wanna like be with this person. You can't look ahead, you know, you can look back at any per, you know, past relationship and go, oh yeah, that wouldn't have never worked out.

You know, once you're away from it for a while, you'll see the, the, where the rubber hits the road per se. But when you're in it, it's hard to admit that to yourself, that you've wasted your time. You know that these tears were just good for nothing. And so it kind of had a nice ring to it. But now coming through that, I wanted to give it a little resolution where, I am committed and I wouldn't, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.

And that kind of love, that kind of trust where it's [00:10:00] not always fun, it's not always easy. And you're right, it is a second chance. Like both me and my, my wife have both been in pretty gnarly relationships. We have kids from different people and we're co-parenting and you know, we both come from pretty colorful backgrounds.

Um, back in the day, the scene, rock and rolling, partying, like all that stuff was really fun and stuff. But there was also some really dangerous, some really crazy situations you'd find yourself in. Like I wasn't far from. Jail time or an overdose or watching, you know, I've had friends that didn't make it out.

And looking back at that and relationships and how they suffered just through that and how you're kind of trauma bonded. If you're a punk rock kid in the nineties and you meet another punk rock kid in the nineties, you kind of team up and you take on the world together. I mean, I had a couple kids with one, you know, and it's like, and so did she.

So we didn't survive as a relationship, but our kids [00:11:00] did. And they, we were able to band together out of commitment and out of lock into the subculture that supported us and was always safe and punk rock music and the scene. And it's very similar and very adjacent to like the goth scene and stuff.

Like everybody's safe there, all the gay kids in high school and all the, all the kids off to the left. And if you were, you didn't have to wear all black, you didn't have to sign up for a certain thing. Everybody hung out together. It was off to the left, you know? 'cause we weren't the status quo.

And in that scene you just, you trust that and you kind of commit yourself to it. So with relationships, like if I, and be a,

I'm gonna be a good partner for 20 years, you know what I mean? And so I wanted to sing about that, put your, for someone, and I'm, because it's a little bit of red, but it's more about like, you.[00:12:00] 

Unless,

I've cheated, I've been cheated on. It's

oh God. I'm sorry. Okay. Can you hear me now?

Oh, cool.

Okay. Just say robot. Yeah, I, I mean, I don't know where I left off. But that song's about relationships. Go ahead.

Got it.[00:13:00] 

Yeah. Well, and you lock in. Mm-hmm. They're loyal to you. You're loyal to it. And you could carry that, that commitment to your community, to your people, and to relationships and to parenthood and to work. Like I didn't know that being was gonna give me work ethic and team building and humility and.

Respect and, and kind of e eviscerate any kind of classism or racism or sexism or anything that I had you had to get along. So I've learned how to pivot emotionally and socially because I've been part of a community that was welcoming. Everybody that came in, you accepted and you trusted that.

And if you can just apply that to anything else I just think that's a really beautiful thing and I'm proud to be part of a culture that, that represents that and is free thinking and allows people in. And so, yeah, I mean, and for me, it's what I lean into when times do get tough. I [00:14:00] even though, you know, I was going through a crazy breakup or something.

Or even when you're having tough times with your current relationship, you always have that sense of community and you can rely on and kind of share that with them and, and hang in there with them and, and be more accepting of other people's stuff,

Brian Prime: yeah. Agree. And connecting to, just real quick on that note, like I, I just have to say that like, connecting with community is important, maybe now more than ever before Uhhuh, and it affords so much in terms of companionship and just the opportunity to meet people who may be sharing a similar experience to your own.

And just being able to sort of commiserate that in a moment, I feel is important. And you can meet wonderful people. You can meet someone who turns out to be your best friend, or turns out to be an absolute treasure of a person. 

Jake: Yeah. And [00:15:00] it's just like, and we need each other. That's, that's human instinct.

Raising your kids is like instinct. You know, if we were both on a desert island, Brian, we would need each other to get the fuck off of there. We would. Along. We fear because we're gonna, we have to survive together. And the further away two people are, the worse it gets. And, you know, now it's so polarizing between you know, politically and socially and things, and everybody's sitting on their computer like, you know, miles and miles away from someone.

It's like sometimes if you were just to get together, you'd realize that these people have thoughts and feelings and ups and downs and they're wrong. Right. Or whatever, you know, it's, it's not as inhuman to be human. And I don't know I mean, that's kind of a broad stroke. I mean, that song was more about relationships and what we're willing to do for them when you've, when you have found that right person.

And you also know. How much garbage you can bring into a relationship and how destructive that can be, and trying to like unload some of that before you blow up [00:16:00] your own spot when it within a relationship. Like I just tend to, a lot of my old bad habits and fears and insecurities come out when I feel vulnerable, when I feel love.

So it's hard to not reflect that. And then just so songs for me are the things I'm afraid to say out loud. If I don't want to talk about it, that means it's going to be a good fucking song because it's something I'm thinking, it's feeling. And I wanna share that with people. So they go like, someone like you goes, yeah, that's, I can relate to that.

I'm like, great. I'm not the only one. It's like my own private, you know, reality TV show or something. I'm like, okay, I'm not, I don't, I'm not the only one that feels this way naked and vulnerable and scared and all these things that I'm afraid to admit, but that's the juice, you know? That's what binds us.

And, uh, I don't know. I'm, I'm happy to sing about that. 

Brian Prime: Yeah. But I'm glad 

Jake: you, I'm glad you caught onto that. 

Brian Prime: Yeah. Absolutely. And that's a thing that has sort of drawn me to music for much of my life, honestly, as a sort of soft, emotional man as I am you know. Mm-hmm. [00:17:00] Uh, at nine Inch Nails was like, uh, uh, way too.

Yeah. Let out aggression, but also have these moments of vulnerability that say things that are mm-hmm. That we don't say out loud. And you know, it's what has, you know, drawn me to bands like Health or VNV Nation or yourself as just, yeah. A voice that says the things out loud that we have inside.

And, uh, I'm always drawn to that in lyrics. I, I liked, I like poetry a little, like not too much, but you know. Sure. Uh, for the same reasons. 

Jake: Yeah, but with music and, and you can add in some, it's funny you mention those bands 'cause it's such a soundscape. There's this sound that makes you feel a certain way, and then there's the lyrics that make you feel a certain way and you kind of combine them.

It's this almost wildly aggressive sound. But with these really open and, and fragile lyrics and someone talking about [00:18:00] that, singing about that gives them a, a voice that so many people want to hear, but no one wants to talk about. It's like, who wants to admit that they're freaked out about their current state of affairs and stuff.

And it's, that's just the wonderful thing about music. I'm glad you use those references, like nine Inch Nails, like. As an artist and just as someone to watch. Like, I didn't even go see him on this last tour because like, now that I'm making music in that vein, like I don't want to even want to see it because it's so good that I'm just gonna be like, I never wanna write music again.

I will go, maybe I'll, maybe I'll maybe go in a few years when I'm a little further up the ladder. Yeah. Or I'll and I like if I could be an opening act, like if I, I don't think I ever will, but what I'm saying is if I'm at that level where I might be considered for that, that I could actually listen to that.

Because when I go to a show, I'm not just a fucking spectator. I, I assimilate it. I, I listen. I see what even competitive.[00:19:00] 

Okay. Um, yeah. I just, it's just one of those.

Yeah. Or, uh, just absorb myself into it and I'm not trying to assimilate or, or try to you know, copy it or mm-hmm. Or judge it. I just go and I like to feel it. I like to be close to it. I'm like, oh my God, that would be great to be up there sharing it. I just saw a FI the other night and I was just like, autumn forgot how much I love that fucking band.

Like for years and years and years, like 25, 30 years I went to high school with their bass player and I've seen their whole career and it's just how honest and awesome and rocking and emotional and amazing they are. I was just like. It was just cool to see that kind of stuff. And and I'm close to that.

I'm close enough to it that I can go watch and appreciate it. I'm not in competition with it. Of course I would love to share the stage with them and stuff like that. It's just nine inch nails is like a little further outta reach right now. They're just so [00:20:00] incredible. Sure. To see that. But I'm gonna go, they're coming in March.

I'm just gonna go and sit there and, and be a spectator. Like my wife's always like, just sit there and fucking enjoy it. You don't have to get something out of it when you go to a show. And I'm like, I'm not trying to like get something out of it. Like the cruel world. I went and was like there's so much great stuff.

I didn't know what to do and I have to stand there all day and be in this sea of people, you know? I just felt. Like I would've loved to have been playing and not in a way like I deserve it. It's so hard to explain that without sounding like a total cocky ass hat. I just want to share that experience and get my thing out around people and feel what it feels like to be, the more people that are there, understanding, the more connection you have and it's just such a, you always want more of that and I could give a fuck about rockstar stuff or making money or any of that.

For me, it's all about a feeling and that shared feeling and how I how great it feels on stage to connect with people. That's why I'm always desperately trying to get them to pay attention. Like, oh, you're not watching. Alright, I [00:21:00] got something for you now you're gonna fucking watch. Like, it's not watch me, like check me out and praise or whatever.

I don't give a fuck if you buy the t-shirt. I don't care about any of that. What I care about is that it hits you in a spot emotionally. You're not just watching like it, it hits you a little bit like. You're thinking about it, that's all I care about is that it connects with you on some sort of other level besides like a rock band playing up there.

You know, I punk rock and hardcore, it's like, please watch. And I'm screaming and yelling and going crazy and it's easy to dish out anger, like it's not that vulnerable. But when you're, when you, when you're saying something and you're talking about fear and you're talking about love and you're putting that out there and then you have to write a soundtrack to that, that draws people in.

It's such more of a repetitive meditative thing. You gotta kind of lay down and draw them in slowly. And um, it's just been great. And with electronic music, you have so many different levels that you can tap into to create. Something like that. I mean, it's like classical music. Like why [00:22:00] does one classical song make you want to go to war and the next one makes you want to cry and take a bath or something, you know?

And then those are just notes. Those are just scales. Those are just like time honored chord progressions that makes the human, psyche act, feel a certain way. And to me that's fascinating. And I want to be able to write something that affects someone emotionally. And if anything, and the accolades of music and rock stardom and all that stuff.

It's great. But that's not what's in it for me. Like for me, it's just sharing that and be having that opportunity to, 'cause that's when I feel alive is when I'm so in the moment up there. And it's such a great feeling. And it's, it's not about attention. I was trying to explain that to my sister-in-law.

She, you must love attention. I'm all, actually, I hate attention. I don't need to prove myself to fucking anybody. What I wanna do is share this quiet truth. I'm nosy I'm interested in your life. You're like a documentary, like what happened in your divorce? You know, I want to know because.

I can relate to it. It's not that I'm I want to be entertained, it's because I [00:23:00] want to fucking relate. So I don't feel fucking alone, that I'm freaked out and you know, my heart hurts too. You know? That's all it is. And it's just hard to explain that to people, but music's a great way to bridge that connection emotionally with people, sure, 

Brian Prime: absolutely. And it's a thing that I, not to sound too full of myself, but I can appreciate that about you because I feel similarly about Void Signal is that like it's afforded me the chance to go do it in person and things like that at festivals and things, and that's wonderful. That's great. But like what matters to me in the things that stick out the most are you know, the person who was like.

I attended your trivia panel at Dark Forest Fest, and I came here alone and you put me on a team with people I didn't know and we hung out the rest of the festival and we are hanging out today. And that person wanted to just get a photo with me for whatever reason. That means way more to me than, be getting praise or like, oh, I got this many downloads or whatever.

I don't care. Yeah. [00:24:00] Like I'm much more interested in it, affected a person, a human for a moment, maybe felt like they were close to me when I wanted someone to be, close with. And I've exactly experienced that and I think that's definitely what. Part of what stood out to me about your shows and your performances was that you, you did take the time to try and say some words, right?

Like, you're opening, or maybe there are people there for you, but you're still have this crowd of strangers and we've only got a few minutes here, but I'm gonna try and impart something important that might touch you in a way that you need it to right now. 

Jake: Every show, dude, honestly, like, I'm like, I'm not gonna say anything 'cause it can go sideways.

You know? I'll start making jokes when I'm nervous, when I'm confident, when I feel good, when it's my little house up there, I will share and that's when I don't mind talking. And sometimes like. [00:25:00] I hate being told what to do on such a cellular level that I'll, I'll rebel against my own advice. Like, I'm not gonna talk tonight.

And that'll make me want to say something. I'm like, you know what? Fuck that. You know, I'm gonna say something and, and, or I'm just feeling it, like I don't think it through. Once in a while I'll be on like one of my walks and I'll be like, okay, this, that would be great, you know, but sometimes I just want to talk about what the song's about or, or, or what's going on, or, I don't even know.

I don't plan it out. Sometimes it just comes out. Sometimes it's kind of cool. But, thank, thanks for saying that. Sometimes it feels really awkward and I always say shit that people don't really applaud. Sometimes I talk about being sober and they clap. I'm like, don't fucking clap. I should have done it 10 years before I did.

Like, I don't get a reward for doing the right thing. I'm not doing the world some great service. I, I needed to, I was, you know, I was miserable and, um, I don't know, it's just kind of funny. Like, I'm not, I'm not trying to. Teach anybody anything. I don't care. I wanna just share my experience and [00:26:00] hope that it hits and make it sound good.

As long as I'm telling the truth and the sound quality is good, then I've done my fucking job. If you like it, great. If you don't fucking great. I don't care. What I care about is, is what I'm up there to do, and that's to put on it to, to put out what I'm trying to do in its most, you know, honorable form.

I mean, there's a bit of a show, but I try not to like preconceive that, different nights or different things and I just love being up there so much. It's gonna be something each time. But I'm, I'm glad you said that because sometimes I feel weird about talking to it and you know, I even make jokes about, okay, this isn't gonna be really like gothy or whatever, you know?

'cause I'm not all spooky and haunting and talking about ghosts and death and all this shit, you know, or whatever kind of metaphysical horse shit. Some people just say, because it sounds great and spooky, but if I talk about something spooky, it's just. Why does that, you know what I mean? Like I'm, mm-hmm. I don't know.

Those are things that are easier to talk about. Something that someone else [00:27:00] did. I want to talk about something that I feel that you might feel. And that will cl clue you in to, to draw you in a little bit so we can share this thing. It's, it's not my time up there. It's, it's our time together. And this song, you know, this next one, I'll say that a lot.

Like, I want to play this one. Like, it's the last song I'm ever gonna play. This is a song about pain. This is a song about the kind of pain that makes you feel alive. Like when you almost feel good for a second when you get hurt, if that makes any sense. 'cause it takes your head out of whatever awkward emotion you're having.

That's why people cut themselves. That's why people fucking drink themselves to death. Because sometimes that pain is so much easier to lock into than some awkward gray area in between. Love and loss and, and death and life. You know, it's like pain is fucking right there, you know, right in the front.

Mm-hmm. And if that's what it takes to wake you up to life, then fuck it. You know, like, sing about it. Let's do it. Let's scream. Yeah. Ly we're all, so that's. You know, it's just an emotion that you're just [00:28:00] trying to get across. And I'm not trying to be heavy or weird or, or, or, or, or too much.

But that's basically what it is. Like I'm a vibe person so I wanna share that because I pick up on other people's and I like to share that energy. Whatever I'm feeling and what this song's about, I wanna be able to share that. 'cause that's what inspired me to write it. So you're here, you might as well listen and I'm gonna try to lay it down so you'll actually feel it.

If you don't, that's fine too. I just gotta, I gotta do my thing no matter what. 

Brian Prime: Yeah, no agree. And I'm definitely a vibe person myself and I always sort of try to write anything that I am, or anytime I'm going to like be speaking in front of an audience or in public or anything. Like even if it's just simple words to convey a simple message, I try to like, and in the back of my mind is that little, like, make it.

Somewhat impactful. Like maybe phrase it in a way that's vague enough that someone who, 'cause everybody has their own narratives. Everybody has their own lives, they're living [00:29:00] out. Yeah. And we don't know what people have to go home and face each day. So if this is the only time they hear your voice and you say this thing that maybe it fucking matters.

Maybe it's the reason they get up tomorrow and whatever. Yeah. Um, but just being able to convey a couple of words that maybe matters to somebody is important to me. And I mm-hmm. Uh, so no words lost or outta place, I guess is kind of a, a feeling I get. 

Jake: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even if you're just winging it, it's still, you never know.

'cause then there's the truth that you think about, you know, that you want to say, and then there's a truth that just comes out. You know, like those things where you say something out loud and you're like, oh my God, I really mean that. And when you're peppering the world with all this bullshit just to get through your day and then you say something meaningful you kind of wanna share that with someone.

You kind of want to like let them know that truth. When you're actually, when you get to [00:30:00] that and it's, for me, it's so hard for me to find that actual truth and really talk about how I feel. 'Cause it's covered with so many other emotions that have, I've used, you know, I grew up with boxing gloves on, verbal boxing gloves.

I just was real combative and always felt I had to defend myself. And bringing that, and as an adult, it's like, not everybody's trying to, to do that and learning how to kind of like, not let that be. But then, I mean, I'm not gonna get like, taken advantage of if I don't say anything. If I don't fight back, I could just like listen and then maybe reinterpret it.

So having to share that. That feeling And and listen more has been so helpful, but occasionally I'll just be like, blah, blah, blah. And something will come out that I'm like, oh my God, that's honest. You know, like, mm-hmm. Fuck. That's really truly how I feel. And I don't know if we get an opportunity to share that [00:31:00] very often as human beings in this world.

Like, do we really share, like, I don't know, like our Facebook status, is that really how we fucking feel right now? Or for, I don't even change that shit. I don't even know what it says. So, but how are you supposed to describe that? How are you supposed to translate that? We're all walking around with thoughts and feelings, so I, I'm not sure it's, it's tricky, but when the truth kind of like.

Bleeds out. I feel like it's, like you said, you know, you, it's your duty as a speaker, as a performer, as an artist, whatever. If you got the mic, say something that matters. You know? I, I think that's a, a wonderful way to put it because you owe it to them for being there as an audience or whatever, you know?

Brian Prime: Yeah. I, 'cause people's time is short and valuable, it is, yes. Uh, the one commodity we don't get back once it is spent. And so anytime anybody bothers to take 30 seconds to hear my voice or my show, like, but thank you. You don't have to do that. And [00:32:00] so I'm appreciative of any amount of time I ever get.

And it sounds like you Yeah. That's a sentiment that you, uh, definitely 

Jake: share. Oh, I do. I mean, I listen to podcasts all the time. I mean, not hardly even listen to music, really. I do. But like, and I, it's great. And, um. But I don't think, I don't know if these, I never even thought about it that way. Like these guys would probably be stoked to hear that.

I think it's great. I listen, you know, it's fun to hear someone else Jaber jaw about random World War ii, fucking, whatever, shit I'm listening to, you know, it's just like, mm-hmm. Oh, okay. It's just interesting to hear people's story. I'm, I cut hair for a living. I have a salon with my wife and that's like, one of my favorite things to do is just chat with one of my clients and, and get to know them and, and hear their story.

And I mean, I guess maybe it's to kill boredom or whatever, but everybody's got a little something to say and like, you just talk about whatever and you hear just really, I don't know, it just reminds you that life's important to people that they love to talk about themselves, but not in a way like, check me out.

It's just like sharing what they're doing. 'cause it is so [00:33:00] interesting, you know? Yeah. And you get so much value from that. And, um, it can be draining if someone's going through something. The other day I had a, um. I was running late. My mom is like moving in for a couple months, just gonna come stay with me so she can be around my kids.

And it's the first time she's lived with me since I was like, 17 or 18. And so I'm nervous. I'm redoing the house, everything's getting clean. I've been like really prickly and like kind of a dick, honestly. 'cause I'm stressed out and I want everything to be perfect. And my wife's oh my God.

And anyway, so I have to go work, and I have this full day at the salon, and it was, I was busy and I was running late and I had a couple people stacked up and, and a woman came in for her haircut at the end of a really long shift. She's a, uh, a surgeon at children's head of surgery for a children's hospital.

And she comes in and she's like, dude, you're like a half an hour late. And I'm like, standing there in front of a client that's right in front of her. And I'm like, yeah, I am. You know, sorry, I, I I can reschedule you. She's like, I don't [00:34:00] have time to reschedule, dude. And the, 20 years I've been seeing you, you've never been this late.

And I'm like, I, I don't know what to tell you. I'm really sorry. Do you want I just had a really bad day. I'm like, so did I, and I kind of just like stonewalled her like that. And anyway, she's, tears started coming down her face and I'm like, oh my fucking God. And I'm like, and I started to go in with this whole spiel, like, okay, my mom's moving in.

I had a bad day, my wife's up my ass. And then I just thought about it like, she's a fucking surgeon for children. What was her bad day like? How fucking dare I complain about or make an excuse for my behavior being a little snappy? No, I don't like being like time bullied at my own salon. Like, people run behind, you know, you're a doctor of all fucking professions.

You should understand people wait for quite some time to see you. So, but I wasn't gonna do that. And I just gave her a hug and, and said I was sorry. And like, she didn't even want to get into what she went through, but she's like, I'm not saying my job is more important and hard, but [00:35:00] if I'm saying it's a hard day, like I've never said that to you.

Just know that it's a really fucking hard day. And I was like. I didn't know what to say besides like, thank you for your service, like some vet. But it clued me into this thing, like her time with, with me was supposed to be to cap off this day, and what she had done was the surgery and it was successful.

She just wanted to go home and just freak out because it was so sketchy. It was like heart surgery on an infant, and like, fuck dude, you can't drop the ball. It could go either way. And the pressure and all that. I just thought about that and here I am, you know, running a little late for her haircut.

I could have just told her I was running behind or texted her and when we just didn't communicate, usually she's pretty chill and um, comes in in the afternoon, but she, we moved it to the end of the day and it was just like she just wanted to get the fuck home and anyway, it was just one of those things, but my job and clues me into the, that vital part of life, like being able to relate to one another.

If you [00:36:00] don't hang out and find out like. Your life ain't that bad. You can't scale your own emotions unless you have other people around you on it. I'm not saying one person's pain is worse than the others, but you also need to keep it in perspective sometimes. 'cause you never know who is hurting or what they've gone through or who they've helped or whatever that thing is, you know?

So it's really important for me to remember that and remember life and, and that humility and what a great gift it is to be able to share like, my time with people. And there's, you know, like you said, and, and that's kind of an honor in a way. And I don't know, that just really, really affected me.

Yeah. And we're cool and everything worked out, but those little things like yeah, like that's a song, not knowing. The pain is someone is in and like, how do you, no one has a patent on pain. Yeah. So I don't know. 

Brian Prime: And I mean, that's absolutely true. I mean, that's a thing that I believe as well and that, you know, people are emotional balloons and they are going through [00:37:00] daily stresses.

I like that, that are giving it a little puff here and there, but like, you don't know how much, how full anybody is. And sometimes you can accidentally be the. Pin prick that causes them to explode and mm-hmm. It may have nothing to do with you. It may have everything Yeah. To do with just everything else.

And yeah. I, you know, I've had moments where, you know, after doing my panel for the first time, like I had to go be alone and like, have a cry. Yeah. And like, just let it out Uhhuh not because it was, not because I was upset or anything, but just like that emotional release had to have mm-hmm. A physical component.

Mm-hmm. And a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that's the thing that you have experienced doing performances. 

Jake: Oh, dude. Like, oh dude. After a show, after a show, like I go, I, I load my shit. Well always I have to get off the stage, but I always go outside or sit in my car for a little bit 'cause [00:38:00] I can't do, if they're nice and that was amazing. Great. But any kind of criticism when I'm walking off a stage full of adrenaline and whatever, fucking hell fire, I've stirred up in myself to kind of dish it out. I always lay in some really heavy song at the end, and I'm just like, every bit of fucking shit I have in me just wants to come out and I'm just gonna like let 'em have it at the end and just leave them with something that you know.

This is it. And so I need a minute, so that I don't, like, I'm just not this emotionally volatile, whatever. I don't, I have zero control of what's gonna come outta my mouth most of the time, but right. When I walk off stage, I always have to cool down for a minute and get back to the real world.

'cause what you, what's up there that's different, as soon as you walk off, you gotta go back to, to, to being a normal person again. You know? And there's a catharsis there. Yes. And they're supposed to be. And that's what the stage is for. And that's what makes great actors, you know. But you're not who you are on stage.

That's what you do. Who you are is how you [00:39:00] treat people and stuff. So you don't want to come out acting like Mr. Fucking Rockstar or whatever. That just like, when you start to believe you are what you do, that's a really slippery slope. And that's when people don't believe you anymore because you're just this weird caricature of yourself.

And I never want to be that, you know, I never want to be that, oh, he's, Jake from Holy Water, or this or that, or whatever. I just want to be someone like that. Their art is part of who they are. But there's an honor for the craft there, and then there's a real person behind that know Trent Resner and the few interviews he's done, he is always very humble and always really cool, and always very thoughtful in what he says. And most artists that I really like always come off very real and very humble. And it comes from a come, come from a spot, the confidence and the, the, the surge of, of power that comes on stage.

That's what you're supposed to do, is just dig, dive into everything that you've done and like display it at full force and then as [00:40:00] soon as you walk off, it's time to drop that shit and get back down to earth again. And sometimes that transition takes a little bit of time, for me it does.

So I've said a couple I've said shitty things before when someone's been critical, um, of a set, not in this band, but in my old band and stuff. And that might have something to do with like drugs and alcohol and having a bad set or something too, like. You know, and or I knew it sucked or something, or I was up there with someone in my band was sucking and I, that pissed me off because they're not taking it as seriously as I believe they should have.

And you know, that's a whole other thing, other people's shit. I mean, that's usually my biggest trigger for anger and for fear is, is other people and what they will or won't do, you know? Sure, yeah. That I may or that I may or may not do. You know, like le letting grownups be grownups is really hard for me sometimes, but 

Brian Prime: Yeah. And I, there is something to be said for like, just the bad timing of things, you know, especially, yes. It's like if you've been drinking, like, in vio, veritas is [00:41:00] the, you know, is the phrase in wine, there is truth. You know, sometimes somebody might catch you on a bad day when you've had a couple of sips of some social lubricant and maybe something sips out.

Jake: So, oh dude, like, I'm sober. So like if I have to go to one of these awkward dinner parties or one of my clients, like birthday parties where I don't know anybody. Mm-hmm. And I'm weird and I talk a lot and I have like rock and roll. So I don't know, it's, I always end up saying shit that, like, I'm not the normal fucking person.

I, I can only talk about golf or the 49 ERs for a little while before, I'm just like, this is boring. But I always go to like. Usually end up chatting with, with women, like a group of 'em and that have had a little wine and it gets more interesting. 'cause there's stories there, there's drama there.

Mm-hmm. There's conjecture. They're talking about things that no one's gonna do anything about. So it kind of doesn't matter. It's like people magazine, but in real life. 

And, 

And I, I can get into that, you know, as long as I don't start offering my [00:42:00] opinion on what someone should or shouldn't do.

I love hearing other people's, yeah. I, like if couples are fighting or something, like I'll follow 'em around the grocery store. I just wanna hear like what they're saying, you know, like how interesting that is to me. 'cause not just to be some weirdo but that's when they're, that that truth comes out, you know?

And it's important. Like, I love people that flip out, 'cause A, it's not me and BI trust emotion. I don't trust someone gives a shit unless they're willing to flip out about it a little bit. And I know that's really sad and that's not a, a, you know, a qualifier for me. 'cause quiet people fucking can do some crazy shit too, you know?

They just keep their fucking mouth shut. And that's even scarier, the quiet ones can get away with shit, and, you know, especially like in alcoholism and stuff. And, um. In sobriety and recovery. Like, I've learned a lot about that. Like I'll be in meetings and stuff with people that were like the quiet drunk.

They quietly drank 20 beers for 12 years, straight a day, and held their [00:43:00] job down and kept their mouth shut. They were just fucking buzzed at their kid's little league game, and got pulled over and their kid was in the car and did fucking a year in jail and don't talk to their kid anymore.

And they're working their way back to that. You know, like, that's a real fucking story. And I'm like, holy shit. Wasn't a bad guy, wasn't a evil, punch drunk, you know, in the street yelling, you know, but he just fucking was quiet and eventually it caught up. It catches up, you can get away with things for a long time. I don't know if that's good or bad or what, but. I was always an exploder. I would just go on like a bender and then be done for a while. It just like once it was on until it was gone. I was never good at pacing oneself, but, oh me, 

Brian Prime: that was my problem when I drank was, uh, and you know, I was at the time that I was drinking, I was the funny, fat guy, so it was like everybody wanted to give me a drink and, um, coffee.

Yeah. You know, so it was, and I didn't know when to say stop, [00:44:00] and I probably wouldn't. Because, um, you know, when someone's, we tend to, as social creatures want to do what the other person is doing, so yeah. If someone else is having a drink, I should have a thing in my hand and um, yeah.

Becomes very circular and I didn't, I struggled with moderation. Yeah. In that 

Jake: regard. Well, and it's after a few shots, you don't give a fuck if they're giving, if there's no obligation anymore, I don't owe you shit, dude. You know what I mean? Like mm-hmm. I love not giving a shit, not just like, oh, I don't have to.

I do. It was just like, I don't care how I feel. I don't care how you feel. I don't, I'm not gonna babysit your emotions. We're just like, I love that, that just, I don't give a shit mode. Like just these invisible hours of just like not having to worry if my kids were okay having to worry if I was being a piece of shit dad, or worry about someone's feelings or hear about, you know what I mean?

And I worked in a, I used to work in these big crazy salons [00:45:00] and all these fucking problems and things and people and crosstalk and you'd go in the back room and it was just like a fucking nightmare of emotions and drama and divorces and births and just like, oh, fuck my life. You know what I mean? I had enough of that shit going on.

I don't wanna hear about your shit, but I mean, I do. But alcohol just turned, all those, my care buttons off and it worked. It was like ibuprofen for the soul. So that's, I would drink until I just annihilated any kind of sense of responsibility to people or the world that I had. And then I could just be in this void, you know, glass shield down mm-hmm.

For a while. But, that's dangerous and you hurt people, and more importantly, you're not there for them, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, and then you gotta re, and then you got the next day where you do feel like a piece of shit, physically, emotionally, and all that stuff too. And you're not there for them either.

It's actually quite selfish. Drinking is even though you're not hurting anybody else, like, I mean obviously if [00:46:00] you're abusive or something, but it's just a selfish way to deal with one's emotions. 'cause you're not there for other people. People don't fucking care if you drink. They care about how you treat them.

And if you're too far up your own ass and drunk or not drunk or hungover or drama then they stop coming to you. You know? Yeah. Well he's not gonna help me move or I'm not gonna call him with my problems. He'll turn it into himself or make it make it worse or, you know what I mean? Like Yeah, totally.

You, you don't wanna be a person that people don't want to help. And then you got the other side where you help. Everybody too much so that you don't have, you can avoid your own shit, you know, then you're like, Mr. Helper and like Mr. Great guy, and you're doing all these things that you don't want to do for people that don't deserve it or something.

And there's that side of it too. And that's, that's a whole other graduate program, for addiction and, and whatever is trying to get along with folks. But 

Brian Prime: yeah, 

Jake: when it's working, when it's working, I think it's I could see why people. Enjoy it because it's, uh, you feel comfortable in [00:47:00] all that, you know, or at least not give a shit.

You're not afraid for a while. Yes. I guess that 

Brian Prime: was definitely part of the allure for me, just as always a shy, wallflower, reclusive, quiet person for most of my life is that drinking allowed me to not feel those things and not worry so much and to not care. And the two major components for me that finally drove me to, cut out all drinking was the fact that I.

If I'm falling down or someone is having to help me or assist me or make sure I'm okay, I am a burden to that person in that moment of I have, you know, consumed enough of this thing to make myself someone else's problem. Someone else who might be on vacation or trying to have a good time or had a bad day or like, doesn't want to have to deal with me being this way because I was irresponsible.

I don't think that's fair. And uh, so I didn't want to continue ever doing that. But the other component, at [00:48:00] least for me was you know, I would drink to excess and get blackout drunk and not remember what I said or what I did. And that person, yeah. I don't know what that guy's gonna say and I don't like mm-hmm.

Relinquishing that control to a part of myself that might say things I don't mean, or say things in a way Yeah. That I would rather not say them. 

Jake: You end up in fucking Lodi or something. What the fuck? I I get it. Gone get it. I downhill wonder that. Yeah. I saw people call me and go like, are we cool? And I'm like, what do you mean?

They're all, 'cause you just, yeah. You said something last night and I was like, whoa. Like what me, I mean it. I have thought it, right? Mm-hmm. But I was blacked out, so I said it out loud, you know, it was always somebody close to me that, something that they were doing that I didn't like morally agree with or something.

I'd make a stab at it or something, you know, like someone like cheating on their wife. I'd make some [00:49:00] kind of joke and like, uh, you know, like, how's that working out? Or Who, where's your little fucking whatever kind of thing. Like some passive, and they're like, what? Like things you don't fucking say, you know?

Yeah. Totally. You know, like your friends being a piece of shit. Like you're fucking let 'em be a piece of shit. They're gonna suffer those consequences with or without your judgment. Whatever happens in those situations, that is their fucking business. And not mine to pass a judgment on, but being blacked out, you know, I don't know.

Those are the two, I've had people come back to me to say that, and then there's probably countless times there's just random strangers. I have no idea. And that is scary. That's really, I didn't like that. I didn't like that being being fucked up, like in that zone. I mean, I used to, I would do like coke too, so like, if I was blacked out, I mean, it wasn't constant, it wasn't every single time, but there were nights that I've, 'cause you can drink longer and stuff, so I would be like blacked out.

But with it, my mouth and my mind are still [00:50:00] on. But my brain and like my reasoning, I have no fucking idea what I said to anybody, but I was saying shit, I was out and about and I'm like, railing, rattling off, whatever, dude. I'm surprised I didn't get beat up or locked up, or I have no idea. You know? Yeah. Um, sometimes it would be like I had friends, like they'd be like.

You were either crazy and just like, like a comedian, like just sub referencing like crazy shit, or you're emotional, like ej, they'd call me ej, like emotional Jake. Like, I'd want to talk about something like heavy and like cry and like get into it, you know? And like one of my friends was like, dude, you were telling me to let someone love me like all night.

You know, you were fucking, and he was going through a divorce. And I was like, he's like, yeah. I was just like, I don't wanna talk about it. And I'd be like, yeah, that's your problem man. You gotta let someone love you. No wonder she left and this and that. Like, shit like that. Like, it's fucking awful, dude.

And from, you know, in, in my, I guess I was being helpful, like [00:51:00] giving this guy a, a pep talk or something, but that's so rude and so invasive and I'm just like, man, so you're right. I guess you're right. That what you put on others that's not fair, yeah. And um, you're absolutely right. I never thought it of it in that context, but I think that's why I stopped too, not.

For me, but for them, yeah. You know? Yeah. I didn't wanna affect, yeah, sorry. And what if I had to show one of my, oh, go ahead. 

Brian Prime: I di didn't mean to interrupt you. I just was gonna say really quick, like Yeah, you mentioned getting emotional and that was a, you know, I have memories of that, of just like, Ooh, this is bubbling outta me and I am not gonna be able to turn this off.

Jake: Yeah. Well, and it's hard to, when you're fucked up 'cause your inhibitions are down, you just kind of go loose, you know? And having that emotional control, I mean, that's kind of what happened. Like when I quit, I was having like I had some like panic attack kind of thing. Like, it just started and like it wouldn't stop.

And [00:52:00] until, everything wore off and stuff. And um, and then it was a couple, like a weekend or two later, I tried again. I was like, oh, maybe it was a fluke. And as soon as I picked up, it started again and my mind and body was like, every time you pick up, this is gonna happen. It's gonna be some.

Internal explosion. Like I had two sides of myself and I couldn't be two different people. I'm not invisible. I want to be able to show my kids, if I put a GoPro on the bill of my hat and I walked around all weekend, I want to be able to show them that footage and them not be fucking horrified or something.

I want to be the same person all the time. And if that requires sobriety to feel the same and not have to jump back and forth in that shame and that regret and be a burden, like you said kind of thing, then yeah, fuck it, then I'll do that. And that's what I was afraid of. I wasn't afraid of never having fun again.

I was afraid of reality 24 7. Here you go. 'cause I had zero coping skills. I didn't know [00:53:00] what to do if the shit hit the fan,

Brian Prime: yes, a hundred percent. I know. Yeah. I, I, coping skills are thing you have to fucking learn fast. 

Jake: Yeah, like if you go through a breakup, you know, I was just had a client right before I called you and she's going through a breakup and I was like, just get drunk and go to a bar and make out with a bunch of randos.

That was my great hairdresser advice. And I was like laughing. I'm like, you know what? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't do that. Like, I can't even do that. You know, I don't even know what would happen if me and Heather broke up. I'm sober. Where the fuck am I gonna go? I'm 53 and sober. Like, you know, I, I can't, don't do that.

Just deal with your, my feelings. It'll be okay. You know? I was joking on it and maybe, you know, making out with some randos can be therapeutic. You know, I know plenty of people that have gotten back on the horse after a while and, you know, just little things or, getting on Hinge or whatever, like, it's fine.

Like, someone likes you, thinks you're cute, that helps build that back up. I get that. But, you know, it's just one of those things and I just, I quickly thought about like, at a breakup, I wouldn't have [00:54:00] that as a solution to like party my way through. That process, you know? Yeah. I'd have to fucking deal with it, yeah. And that's, that's scary. Yeah. 

Brian Prime: Yeah, I agree with all of that. It's, uh, you know, it is helpful to have people like, take an interest and be like, oh, I'm, you know, not a, piece of trash or whatever, Yeah. That you might be feeling. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. It, it healing is, uh, comes in many forms for sure.

Um, well. 

Jake: It's like, it's nice to be liked, even if it doesn't mean it's an next person, or even if it's a bit of a rebound, someone else likes you, it just reminds you that you're not undateable or something. You know? I don't think that, I think that's, that's fine. I mean, 

Brian Prime: people, because we all wanna feel wanted, right?

Like we all Yeah. That feels nice. Yeah. Agree. I don't want to keep you too long because I could sit and talk to you all fucking day as I, I suspected how this interview would go. So I do want to go ahead and hit you with the last question of the show, which I always ask what is something that you have [00:55:00] been enjoying recently?

And your answer can be anything, A book, a movie, a TV show, just what's something you're jazzed about when you wake up? 

Jake: Oh, dude, this is gonna sound insane, but like, I've been making, like, I made this, uh, redwood slab like coffee table with like black pipe. Parts for like legs and stuff like sand. And use a marine layer for like a clear layer.

And then I had to make like a TV console that matched, right? 'cause my mom's coming and I want my living room to look cool. But I've really enjoyed working with wood. And I'm not some crafty, like outdoorsy guy with a puffy Patagonia jacket who goes to the Home Depot? I'll have, I'm not, okay. I grew up in the woods and I love wood, but it's sounding like I love working with wood.

It just sounds so conceited, but it feels really, it, it, it's just cheesy. But I do, I do. 'cause it's malleable and you can sand it and it changes. So now [00:56:00] it was growing and now it's a fucking table. You know? It's just cool. And to look at it, you get to see it every day. You made this thing and you put your coffee on it and it looks cool.

And it's, um. It's like a, um, having a, uh, art show every day. You know, you get to see some of your work and I love producing things with my hand and seeing it, like, I love doing flyers and graphic design and music and showing that. And like, so I get to see these pieces of wood and the grain and like the, the TV console I did, it was called Living Edge and it has this kind of rough edge and I kind of sanded it down, but you can see all the, the cuts and like, you know, the way the, the wood was split up and stuff and it was just, I don't know.

I've been really enjoying some of that. So maybe someday I'll just have a barn and just make wood stuff and, you know. Yeah. No, that's two random festivals or something. I don't know. 

Brian Prime: No, I think that's cool. Because I, and I encourage people to do such things, right? Like, I think that people should take the time to make something for yourself.

I've been to a couple of those. Um, the, uh, [00:57:00] like a, not a paint and sip, but like a, you pick some pottery off the wall or like some clay, like a coffee mug. And, you know, I've gone and you know, went on a date with my lady friend. I'm like, I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna paint a mug and I'm gonna think about what a Brian would want and I'm gonna make it.

And then every day when I go to make my coffee, like I get to have this mug that I made for myself. That I, that's cool. I, maybe I'm not the most artistically talented person, but I sat and crafted it with myself in mind. 

Jake: But that's all interpretive. Like, that's, that's, yeah. Like, I can't imagine Picasso is like, damn Picasso, that shit looks great.

You know what I mean? He was like, this sucks, you know? And then went and cut his fucking ear off. No, that was Van Gogh, but you know what I mean, like, no artist thinks their shit fucking slaps, you know? It's just like, but that's and it's, that is cool though. I like that. I would, I was like, who the fuck goes and does those things?

Like how weird would that be? But you get to [00:58:00] keep it. Yeah. I thought you were just painting like some lady's, like teaching you how to paint. Oh, you get to paint your own fucking mug, like, that's fucking sick. 

Brian Prime: Yeah, it was, it was great. Uh, we, you know, we both come back two weeks later and, oh, here it is, all done.

And like, we got to sit and have our coffee together in the morning and like she drinks out of her mug and I drink outta mine. And like, hers was excellent. Like way, fucking better than mine. But, it, there's, you know, back to sort of your answer of and your point of like, I just think there's such fun and value and just making something for yourself and you know, absolutely.

Building that accomplishment of like, I took parts from nothing and have created a, something from them. 

Jake: Yeah. No, that's, that's great dude. I love that. I'm gonna take my wife, she's always. We never do anything. I'm gonna take her to one of those things. We're gonna make some mugs or, fuck dude. That's, that's cool.

Brian Prime: It's a 

Jake: fun date. I dinner and then go sit and 

Brian Prime: some shit. 

Jake: I feel so silly 'cause like I never even considered you get to keep what you make. [00:59:00] I've seen them like, you go paint, you know, and you drink wine or whatever. I get that like, I'm like, why the fuck would anybody do that? I never even considered you get to bring whatever you made home with you or whatever.

I'm just like, it just sits there in a box. I didn't even think about that. I was just thinking about the actual class. Oh yeah. And how I wouldn't wanna sit there with a bunch of strangers and like learn how to paint or something like that just sounds weird to me. But if you get to keep it and you get to see everybody's at the end, like, you know, one, it reminds me this one time and I'll, and I'll stop after this, I swear.

Me and my kids, we wanted to paint, you know, and so I thought it'd be cool to all paint the same thing. And at the time they were into wrestling, so we all painted Hulk Hogan, you know, and um. You know, I didn't tell them what a fucking weird guy that way. Anyway, but we all did it and um, and it, it was awesome.

And I still have it. It's like a, for up of all these whole Hogans, it's like me and, and my two kids. And, uh, theirs are small, like painted really, really small. And then hunter's [01:00:00] was like this sort of abstract with a giant hat. I don't know, it's just super cool. I still have it. It's a great, I mean, it might turn out whatever, but like, it was just a cool exercise to, to all paint the same thing.

It was really cool. Yeah. 

Brian Prime: Yeah. You definitely look it up. It's like a paint your own pottery kind of a thing. And yeah, it was a bla I mean they have like plates and all kinds of the shit you can pick. But yeah, like coffee mugs, I just was like, oh, this is gonna be cool. And yeah, it's brand. I like creating stuff.

I always answer the question myself. Uh, so, uh, shit, what is something I've been enjoying? I had a wonderful Halloween and it was it's nice to have a Halloween or an, a holiday in your life that is marked in your memory for how good it was rather than, 'cause I mean, as you, uh, as you probably have experienced as along with myself and most people, right, of like, Ooh, this is the worst, this whatever holiday this is, right?

Like, yeah. Um, [01:01:00] mm-hmm. We've all had plenty of shitty holidays that were ruined for some reason or another. But, uh, yeah, to have a really good one and to hear words that, uh, you need to hear at a time when you need to hear them sometimes those sort of, that's great, magical divine moments are just worth stopping and appreciating and trying to suck in and be glad they happened.

That's great, dude. Yeah. I don't think I too, I love that. Yeah. It was fun. Like me and my lady friend dressed up as Chucky and Tiffany from Bride of Chucky and 

Jake: Red. Yeah. My, um, my, my wife's best friend was Chucky too. 

Brian Prime: Nice. 

Jake: And she's funny 'cause my wife's 46, 45, I don't know, she's in her forties.

And her friend and so they went out but they didn't dress like. Slutty or whatever, and they were, the first year they've gone out as grownups, like, and her friend Carla was like, it's so weird not being dressed all, you know, slutty for [01:02:00] Halloween. Like, we walked in the barn and we were like, just wear, I looked like Chucky, you know, like, and it wasn't like super, like hot Chucky or whatever, you know?

And it was just funny. I was laughing. I'm like, did you feel like you should have? She's like, kind of, but then I was like, oh my God. I'm like, whatever dude. Fuck it. That's, that's, that's their game. They're out there and they're 25 or whatever, you know, when I was that age and I don't know, it was just kind of funny though.

Oh yeah. I just, that made me think of that and I was like, how would you be 

Brian Prime: a hot Chuckie? And I, well, I told Sadie guy, I was like, next year we'll just, I get to wear this sexy costume and you get to wear the like overgrown toddler outfit. Yes. So we were, uh, talking about like, we'll just gender swap it, and I'll just go as Tiffany and she'll go as Chucky and, you know, there you go.

I'll just, I'll just fix all slutty.

Jake: Yeah. It's not, it's funny for guys 'cause they're like, you can't dress provocatively 'cause we're basically pretty much down, you know, we don't have to like hint at it or like, yeah. You know, it's like not, you know, look at that guy.

He's just [01:03:00] asking for it, wearing that fucking, that, those blue shorts. You know, like, it's just like, of course he's asking for it, you know, or whatever. But yeah, I think we're best when we're relaxed and we're confident and we're doing our thing and you know, we're there for, we're, we're there for the people that love us.

I think that's the most attractive thing. And we have, yeah. Ambition and drive and, yeah, absolutely. 

Brian Prime: And you know. Yeah. And plus being, over 40 and a white guy like, Ooh, nobody wants to see these thighs. They're, they've got hair on. No, no. I can still fucking see that 

Jake: they're not supposed to see the sun.

I was talking about that the other day because short shorts are kind of back for men, you know? And like, I'm like, yeah, I don't know, oh yeah. No, definitely not. No, I won't buy shorts or 

Brian Prime: wear them in there. Yeah, I mean, I love the knee gross. Get 'em outta here. 

Jake: Yeah, no. Yeah. No one wants to see male over 40 male, white thigh.

Like that's gross. Or even any, any race. I don't wanna see any racial any. [01:04:00] Yeah, that's great. 

Yeah. Excellent. 

Yeah, those Pfizer. Pfizer, yeah. Pfizer. Uh, yeah, that's a, it just depends, but women and men under 40 probably. Definitely. Let's just leave it there. Yeah, that's fine. Before I say something and get canceled.

Brian Prime: All right. That is it. Thank you so much for your time and for making this work. I, of course, man, that was rad. Thank you. Um, I will let you know when this goes out and yeah, uh, I'll hit you up for like a promo photo for the cover and it'll probably be in the next couple of weeks, of course.

But yeah man, I'll good to talk to you and I'm keeping an eye on your schedule as soon as I can make another show. Sadie and I have been talking about, where are you, where do you live at? We're just up in Reno. Oh, okay. 

Jake: Okay. Right over the hill. Um, yeah. Male tears Sacramento on the 22nd. Um, that'll be a good one.

It's not too far. Yeah, that's not bad. 

Brian Prime: The only prob problem I run into there is just that like, uh, my lady friend, [01:05:00] like is Yeah. Snow number one. And like my lady friend is the manager of FedEx office, so they're, it's like hitting their busy season and shit 

Jake: city. Yeah. She's not, she's gonna be done for a while.

Yeah, I'm trying to, but February, I'm, yeah, 

Brian Prime: February. You've got a thing. 

Jake: I'm doing a tour. Yeah. Me and Vic vapors are hitting the road, so I always forget about Reno. I should fucking look into that. Yeah. Reno and then we've, Tahoe, Tahoe's kind of hit or miss. It's hard to, you gotta find a little bar and then it's just random, yeah, for sure. Who knows? Um, 

Brian Prime: I'll, I'm friends with, uh, the local promoter here. Um, I'll mention that you're gonna be on the road around February and uh, if you can, I'll send you a date, 

Jake: dude. Yeah, that'd be great. 

Brian Prime: Where, like Holland Projects 

Jake: or something, or 

Brian Prime: Yeah, something like that. Holland is great. Like I, I like that place a little, all ages shindig 

Jake: or even a bar.

I don't care. I just, um, yeah, I'll send you a date for sure. That'd be great actually. I'll let you know. 

Brian Prime: Awesome. All right. Well, enjoy your weekend. Thank you again so much and have a wonderful rest of your evening. [01:06:00] 

Jake: Great. Thank you Brian. Cheers.